Cursed all year round

Bright red nose, dark circles and watery eyes – right now I resemble a hellish cross between a dying baboon and hobbit like male Gollum from Lord of the Rings. And you know what the sad thing is? This isn’t a one off winter flu. No the universe isn’t that kind. I get permanent colds for the whole season and when that’s over there’s the joy of hay fever. Sometimes I swear people cross the road just to avoid me. But who wouldn’t when some diseased, heavy breathing juggernaut is staggering towards you, head ducked down with arms flailing side to side. Okay, that might be a little bit exaggerated but you get the gist.

But aside from the accumulation of a million snot rags and remembering to put extra packets of tissue in your bag  (Never again, since the age of seven I promised myself would I use my sleeve to wipe a runny nose) the irritating thing about colds is not being able to breathe properly. Honestly, I hate being in class, especially when working in complete silence, and sounding like Darth Vader. It’s probably just an embarrassing step under farting in silence, and when you’re so hungry your stomach howls like some caged beast- or a baby whale calling out to its mother.

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