It’s a wrap: See Ya 2017, Hello 2018

Bam. There goes 365 unseemingly uneventful days. Like everything, there were definite lows and some high points. But it’s through these experiences whether good or bad that enable us to grow and add to the memories to which we hold dear. So here’s my defining/most memorable moments;

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Chocolate somehow tastes better when it’s free and with good company. My first time exploring M&M world in London

    • Reconnecting with friends. I crawled out of my cave of reclusivity. In 2016, I quit Facebook. At this point I needed a clean break from everything – a chance to withdraw from constantly comparing myself to my peers and this feeling that I needed to prove to people that I wasn’t a lowly paid loser with no career direction.. which I guess is probably still half true. I broke contact with a lot of close friends. And sort of vanished. A few messages managed to climb into my emails asking for answers, whether if I was still alive and what the hell has happened. But I couldn’t bring myself to reply to most of them. I just didn’t know what to say. No one wants to hear crappy news. “Hey, yeah I’ve moved back home because I couldn’t cut it working in a city.” Sounds pathetic, right? I’m ashamed of how I’ve let my life spiral out of control. But pity from my friends isn’t what I need. I just want to selfishly breathe. Without the weight of what everyone will think of me. I’m just sorry for ghosting and hurting so many people that cared for me in the process.

    • I saw All Time Low and Ed Sheeran live. Throughout my adolescent years, punk rock had been my fallback and release for that bubble of teen angst. Seeing ALT was almost a trip down memory lane where my worries were getting a good mark on my homework or what to wear for the next tag day.
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  • My uncle passed away a few months ago. I don’t have a graceful or lamentable way of wording this because it’s just been so damn, shit. I can’t comprehend how someone that was healthy and happy not too long ago could slip away so easily. I wish that there is closure in the family especially for my mother who was so close to him. I want to find ways to help her grieve but we’re not part of a culture that openly talks about feelings. I want to find something to help this stifling pain fade. I realise that I need to appreciate and respect my parents and my elders more.

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  • I was hospitalised briefly for the first time. I had surgery in November and while it was overall a safe procedure, the worst thing was having my parents worried. The evening prior to surgery, the staff made sure I had enough to eat and that I had enough fluids. The patient across my bed kindly introduced herself and explained that after her fourth admission this month hopefully she’ll be able to return home for good. I soon began to recognise the helplessness of the older patients in my ward, bedbound and reliant on a nurse to set up a bedpan. I saw the resilence of the hospital staff despite pressure and several accounts of abuse from patients.


     

     

  • Getting fitter and healthier. I signed up for a one week military bootcamp and it was not short from hell. I was physically and mentally battered. My hands blazed with blisters from carrying heavy ladened stretchers. Every morning began with a 7AM, five kilometer run – and that was the easy part. My saving grace were the other ladies on the camp. Each one had their own weightloss journey with the same end goals which united us as a team and fight for what we wanted. Afterall we were “only one workout away from the next meal”.

    My New Year Resolutions

  • Keep up my fitness levels – Go running or cycling for at least 2 hours a week.
  • Read more – 30 minutes of reading every evening
  • Be more sociable – reply to messages by the next day
  • Be humble – recognise my own bias and listen to hear what others have to stay rather than respond.
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